Lord, I try to talk to You.
But there is too much I need to say.
And so it turns out that I say nothing at all.
I feel You around me. I feel Your presence.
And yet I'm scared to touch You.
To ask You to come and be close to me. Hold my hand.
You have blessed me. And I thank You for that.
For every single blessing in my life. Thank You.
And yet I want more. I want to have everything.
Despite already having so much.
Lord, teach me a lesson. I need it.
Sometimes I don't understand myself. At all.
I don't know where I'm going and what I'm doing.
Sometimes I'm so happy I want to cry. Happy tears.
You know I'm scared. Scared of rejection.
Lord, that is the hardest thing.
That and not being good enough.
Lord, teach me love. Teach me how to love.
I want to live in Your light, be in Your love.
It is not only a cliché. It is hope. Hope!
Lord, this has nothing to do with You.
Forgive me for bringing it up.
But it is all that I ever think of.
Yes, I'm weak and selfish and a sinner.
I want to be different but I'm the way I am.
Can You love me like this?
It seems like no one else will...
And I need to be loved.
Father, don't judge me too hard. Be on my side.
I need someone to be on my side.
I need to go and do what I should do.
I have a mission.
And I knew it all along.
God, I won't be shy. I will risk everything.
Be with me. Be with me now.
Forgive me all of my sins, my daily sins.
I don't deserve Your love. But thanks anyway!
Bless my family and friends.
Forgive them their sins and be their friend.
Send a part of my love - our love - to them.
Even when I cannot be with them.
Lord, keep me safe as I wander this unknown road.
With You I can do everything. Anything.
YES!
God, I love love love You!
Don't give up on me.

Your humble servant L.J.L signing off.

In the name of Jesus Christ -

AMEN.